Done well
Comment: The first sentence of the paragraph reveals the student's initial dislike for her name, which becomes the starting point of the story that portrays her inner transformation. The summary also highlights the same theme, making the essay more coherent and aiding the reader in comprehending its main point.
Done well
Comment: By openly discussing her lack of confidence and struggles in adapting to a new environment and preserving her identity, she not only acknowledges her challenges but also demonstrates self-awareness. This self-reflection is a positive quality as it shows maturity and a willingness to confront personal obstacles.
Done well
Comment: The paragraph suggests that the essay explores the student's internal struggles and the evolving relationship with her identity. The positive element is in the potential for growth and self-discovery that will unfold in the essay. By addressing the initial discomfort with her name, the student lays the foundation for a narrative that showcases resilience, self-awareness, and a positive shift in perspective.
Done well
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