Comment: The student's turning point is well-placed in the middle, which provides a clear description of their personal transformation. The shift is from an obsessive focus on career to a more open and other-focused mindset, highlighting the student's personal values and their consistency in following them. There are no spelling, grammar, or punctuation errors in the original text.

Comment: The aforementioned anecdotes depict the more relatable and personal side of the student, showcasing her ability to take a break from academic pursuits and prioritize social interactions with friends. This is a noteworthy example of her personal growth previously described. Furthermore, the humorous story further reinforces the argument about her shift in worldview, making the essay more engaging and enjoyable for the reader.

Comment: The passage effectively demonstrates how the student's experience prompted her to reassess her priorities and connect with her core values and the essence of her being. The student's creative approach to conveying this message adds another layer of depth to the piece.