Comment: The introduction begins with a captivating sentence that immediately draws the reader into the essay. The striking opening sets a tone of curiosity and intrigue, compelling the reader to continue. By incorporating vivid imagery and varied vocabulary, the writer effectively paints a picture that resonates emotionally while establishing the essay's central themes. This deliberate crafting of the introduction is not only engaging but also signals the writer’s control over their narrative voice. For future applicants, this demonstrates the importance of investing time in an impactful opening—one that introduces themes without giving away too much, leaving the reader eager to explore further.

Comment: This sentence effectively sets an evocative tone by highlighting the thematic depth of the scene. The use of specific and rich vocabulary adds weight and sophistication, drawing the reader into the atmosphere of the moment. It showcases the writer's ability to craft compelling imagery while establishing an emotional impact on the audience. For future applicants, using precise, evocative language can enhance the emotional weight of a narrative. This illustrates how choosing rich, thematic words can engage the reader and create a memorable scene

Comment: The phrase "everyone succumbing to the metamorphosis of a youth" is vague and overly abstract. While it attempts to be poetic, it fails to provide concrete details or context, making it difficult for the reader to grasp its exact meaning or emotional resonance. Future applicants should ensure that their imagery is balanced with clarity, providing enough specificity to ground the narrative and evoke a stronger connection with the reader