Comment: The fact that the author acknowledges that the things they write are "weird" makes the introduction even more interesting. Readers may wonder why the author thinks that, but to find out they have to keep reading.

Comment: By writing about their family, the author pictures themself as a very nice and kind-hearted person. That is a very good idea. In college essays, such qualities are important to include, especially in the introduction. From the beginning, admission officers see what person the applicant really is.

Comment: The author describes the organization that they feel connected to. This is a very important part of their life. In college essays, including such important things is good, because it adds a new perspective to the essay.