Comment: This opening line is captivating because it immediately draws the reader into a sensory moment. The smell of scented pinecones is a unique and specific detail that not only sets the scene but also establishes a nostalgic tone for the essay. Starting with such a vivid memory helps ground the story in a real-world moment, which makes it easier for the reader to connect emotionally. It’s also a smart way to introduce the idea of the memory box without directly stating its significance yet, allowing the narrative to unfold naturally. For improvement, the essay could add a brief comment on how this memory ties into the theme of reflection, reinforcing the connection between past and present.

Comment: This sentence effectively transitions from the introduction into the essay’s core theme: personal growth and the significance of memories. The shift from indifference to understanding shows how the writer’s perspective has matured over time, which is a key element of a strong Common App essay. Admissions officers look for evidence of growth, and this sentence sets the stage for the writer to explore how seemingly simple objects and moments have become deeply meaningful. To make this even stronger, the writer could briefly hint at specific lessons or values they’ve developed from these mementos, which would help preview the narrative that follows.

Comment: This reflection is touching and relatable, as it conveys the emotional significance of the items in the box. The idea that these cards provide comfort is a powerful way to show how the writer draws strength and reassurance from their relationships, which adds emotional depth to the essay. Mentioning specific cards, like the one with “cute stick figures,” brings a personal and authentic touch, making the story feel genuine. Admissions officers will value how this detail reveals the writer’s ability to find meaning in small gestures, which reflects emotional intelligence. To strengthen this section, the writer could connect the comfort they feel from the cards to a broader reflection on how these relationships influence their resilience or outlook on life.