For a week, I lived in the UA Honors College dorms and attended college-
level classes and lectures

Yet what is any ocean, but a multitude of drops?

n a very real sense, it has changed the way I look at the world,
and my place and purpose in it

Stephen Black, the Director
of the University of Alabama Center for Ethics and Social Responsibility, was the speaker.
He began by describing a conversation he once had with the late Millard Fuller, the founder
of Habitat for Humanity. 

ympathy
identifies a problem. Empathy compels us to demand a solution. Sympathy eases pain.
Empathy demands an end to pain. In the same way, charity treats the symptoms of a
profound illness in society, but true empathy demands something greater.

I’ve decided to do my part to meet that generational challenge – to understand people
rather than feel sorry for them, to solve problems rather than treat symptoms, to act on
empathy rather than feel sympathy.

Whether I am organizing community service events
through NHS, raising funds with the MSHS Nerdfighter Club to help build wells in Ethiopia,
or simply trying to act more selflessly and responsibly in my daily life,

I know that there are many days when I worry that despite all my efforts to
the contrary, I will not succeed, that, to borrow from David Mitchell, “my life may amount to
nothing more than one drop in a limitless ocean.

The student takes up far too much space in the essay describing a speech in which a speaker said a thing that altered his own perspective of the world. Despite its importance, the student might have utilized less space in the essay to talk about it and used the remaining words to elaborate on his actions. He discusses his efforts to make a positive impact on the world, but he devotes a far smaller portion of the essay to that topic than he does to detailing the speaker's experience. He ought to go into more depth on how he helps people and the results of that support. That might reveal more about his character and the consequences of his actions.

Ineffective use of space in the essay

Although present, the current summary is not as effective as it could be. As there is still a word count remaining, the student could give a summary in the remaining space. That could assist the author in making sure that readers will remember the key aspects of the essay that highlight his good attributes. Further, it might enable him to make sure that the readers create a positive view of him.

Underdeveloped summary

The student showcases a reflective nature, providing a well-articulated story of an important experience. This suggests strong communication skills and self-awareness. Apart from that, the author is able to differentiate between empathy and sympathy demonstrating his critical thinking. This skill implies a good understanding of complex concepts and the ability to think critically. Overall, the applicant is presented as a self-aware and communicative individual with high critical thinking skills. All these traits are highly desirable characteristics for the admissions officers as they suggest the author has the potential to become a self-sufficient and successful student.

Underlying the applicant's positive traits

The essay highlights the student's outstanding academic performance, indicating a high level of dedication and intellectual capability. The essay also goes beyond academic achievements to reveal the student's emotional intelligence. Sharing personal feelings during a significant event shows emotional awareness and the ability to express it. 

Evidence of both academic and emotional intelligence

There's a clear description of the student's proactive mindset. He doesn't just identify issues but actively seeks solutions and takes concrete steps to improve the quality of life for others. This indicates initiative and a sense of responsibility. The essay portrays the student as self-aware. He acknowledges the limitations of his impact, yet his tenacity and positive attitude reflect resilience and a mature perspective.

Showcasing the author's proactivity

In the essay, the student answers the prompt and effectively communicates the impact of a transformative experience, where a speaker's words impacted his perspective on the world. While the recounting of the speaker's message holds significance, it takes a big portion of the essay and leaves limited room to delve into the student's other actions and his effort to make a positive impact on the world. The student's academic excellence is respectable and reflects both dedication and intellectual ability. Additionally, the essay shows the student's emotional intelligence by effectively articulating personal feelings, indicating self-awareness and strong communication skills. His proactive mindset also stands out. Rather than just identifying issues, he takes tangible steps to address them and shows initiative and a sense of responsibility. While acknowledging the limitations of individual's impact, the student's desire to actively contribute to positive change illustrates a creative perspective and a commitment to advancing humanity. Overall, the essay paints a picture of an academically accomplished student with strong emotional intelligence and critical thinking skills. His proactive approach to addressing societal issues, coupled with a positive and forward-thinking mindset, stands out. A slight adjustment in emphasis, particularly in highlighting the real impact of the student's actions, would enhance the overall impression of his character and aspirations.

<ul><li>The student takes up far too much space in the essay describing a speech in which a speaker said a thing that altered his own perspective of the world. Despite its importance, the student might have utilized less space in the essay to talk about it and used the remaining words to elaborate on his actions. He discusses his efforts to make a positive impact on the world, but he devotes a far smaller portion of the essay to that topic than he does to detailing the speaker's experience.&nbsp;He ought to go into more depth on how he helps people and the results of that support. That might reveal more about his character and the consequences of his actions.</li><li>Besides, the student could give a summary in the remaining space. That could assist the author in making sure that readers will remember the key aspects of the essay that highlight his good attributes. Further, it might enable him to make sure that the readers create a positive view of him.</li></ul>

<ul><li>The student showcases a reflective nature, providing a well-articulated story of an important experience. This suggests strong communication skills and self-awareness.</li><li>The essay highlights the student's outstanding academic performance, indicating a high level of dedication and intellectual capability.</li><li>The essay goes beyond academic achievements to reveal the student's emotional intelligence. Sharing personal feelings during a significant event shows emotional awareness and the ability to express it.</li><li>The student's ability to differentiate between empathy and sympathy demonstrates his critical thinking. This skill implies a good understanding of complex concepts and the ability to think critically.</li><li>There's a clear description of the student's proactive mindset. He doesn't just identify issues but actively seeks solutions and takes concrete steps to improve the quality of life for others. This indicates initiative and a sense of responsibility.</li><li>The essay portrays the student as self-aware. He acknowledges the limitations of his impact, yet his tenacity and positive attitude reflect resilience and a mature perspective.</li><li>The essay concludes with creativity, suggesting a forward-thinking approach. The student expresses a desire to contribute to the greater good, showing not just academic and emotional intelligence but also a vision for positive change.</li></ul>

Common App Essay Examples - Prompt 3

Not sure what to search for? You can always look through our example Common App essays below for inspiration.

Common App Essay Examples - Prompt 3

Filter exemplars

Category

Subject

Grade

Level

Session

Filter exemplars

Category

Subject

Grade

Level

Session

The Power of Empathy: A Call to Action

Exploring Diverse Realities: A Journey Through Shared Silence

Breaking the Taboo: The Importance of Sex Education in Schools

Breaking the Bias: Empowering Women in Mathematics

Challenging Tradition, Pursuing Passion: A Journey of Growth and Resilience

Empowering the Elderly: A Journey of Technology and Connection